Hufflepuff Pride
by kewie351
Summary: AU- Lily is a Hufflepuff and in love with James, but refuses to let on, despite his childish pranks... yes.. I know. I haven't outgrown the fluff.
1. I

"JAMES!" Sirius' voice, muffled by the loudness of the Gryffindor celebration and the large pile of Hogsmeade sweets he was carrying, made James Potter jump up to help him. "Thanks, mate! That Hufflepuff is waiting outside the portrait hole for you."

"Lily, you mean? She's probably just pouting about how _we_ won the House Cup this year, in spite of our pranking! What's really funny about all this is that we weren't even trying to gain points." James placed the goodies on the table before the fire, then whacked Sirius on the back of the head, which abuse Sirius took good-naturedly. Striding out of the room and into the alcove that was the entrance hall, James thought about Lily Evans. Poor little thing! For the first time in five years, her house had failed to win the House Cup!

She had met the Marauders in Diagon Alley in their first year, and she and James had become fast friends. She had come to Madam Malkin's dressed as a boy, after they refused to give her the pants rather than the skirt. As a result, she was the only girl at Hogwarts who wore the pants uniform. This ostracized her from the other girls, except the ones in her own house, who secretly wished that they didn't have to wear the pleated skirts either. This apparent independence made her accomplishment all the more worthy of acclaim. She almost single-handedly had given Hufflepuff the House Cup for the last five years. After being the victim of one of the Marauders' famous pranks, this one involving a paranoia of frogs watching her, she decided that she would get revenge the true Hufflepuff way: slowly, steadily, but effectively. By taking advantage of the Marauder's point-losing ways, she had knocked Gryffindor out of the runnings for the Cup every year. It didn't matter that Hufflepuff's quidditch game didn't gain them many points, and Gryffindor's made them win the Quidditch Cup practically every year, à la James, because Lily pounded every other house with her amazing test scores, with her eagerness to volunteer and her ability to answer questions correctly.

James pushed the portrait aside and scrambled out of the hole, looking for his green-eyed nemesis. "- anyway, thanks for the chat, but I believe your house's pride and joy just entered the conversation." Lily's voice came from behind the portrait, talking, no doubt, to the Fat Lady in the frame. James stepped clear, and the portrait swung back into place, revealing the owner of the voice, dressed, as usual, in her customary slacks. "Hello, James," she said, altogether too confident.

James decided a little gloating was in order. "So, how does it feel to be in the number three slot, Miss Perfect?"

"You ought to know- oh, wait!- You've always been in the _number four_ slot!" Lily's eyes flashed with anger, then suddenly lost their fury. "I-I'm sorry, James. You have every right to gloat at me, and I'm taking it too personally."

James smirked at her, "Oh, a little down and out at having lost not only to Gryffindor, but Slytherin as well, are we?" He noted with satisfaction the hurt in Lily's eyes. Direct hit!

"James, it doesn't have to be like this, okay? I just came to congratulate your house, and you're treating me like garbage!" Her voice had a strong sense of urgency, and her eyes, were they wet?

"Well, I won, you lost! It's very simple! I'm delighted that you got your head out of your ass enough to come and congratulate us victors- of both cups!" His voice dripped with venom.

Yep, they were definitely tears, and Lily tried to hide it, her eyes furious again. "James, look here! If I hadn't changed my study habits, you never would have won this contest! I gave up my top scores and all that, maybe even my chance at Head Girl, just so you could see that I want to be your friend again, and you throw it in my face! Well, we'll just see if I give Gryffindor credit for _my_ work next year! We'll see if you can win the Cup, James Potter!" She turned, tears streaming down her face as James stood there, trying to come up with something scathing to say. Lily ran off, and her soft crying echoed in the halls of Hogwarts.

James didn't believe her at first. Then the Fat Lady spoke, "What a shame! Poor thing! You could have been more gentlemanly, you know! She gave up the House Cup for you, and you don't even have grounds for bragging. _She_ won the House Cup!"

James roused a bit of anger for the Fat Lady and grumbled, "Gryffindor Pride."

The portrait swung open and the Fat Lady said, "If you ask me, pride is something you have too much of! That sweet girl was good to you and all you can think about is Gryffindor pride. Perhaps you should remember that pride goeth before a-"

"OUCH!" James tripped over the edge of the hole and caught himself before he could reach the ground, stumbling into the wall. The portrait hole closed.

"-fall."


	2. II

Lily ran back to her dorm, sobbing. Now, Lily Evans did not sob. She didn't even cry unless James and his bunch had pulled a particularly nasty prank on her. She pulled out her wand, traced a figure eight in gold on a pillar, and the huge pillar rotated, to show a large, yellow room, cheerfully decorated. She ran to her dormitory, and her friends, Harriet, Josephine, and Melisande, looked up from their books. The boys in the common room, also obviously concerned, looked to Lily's closest friends to see after her.

If the four houses of Hogwarts were represented by the characters in Little Women, then Hufflepuff would be Beth. Almost everybody in that house cared very deeply about each other, and they served as the glue that held Hogwarts together. Half of them always cheered for the other team in Quidditch when Hufflepuff wasn't playing, even if the other team was Slytherin, because it was only fair. Their own house, of course, they supported wholeheartedly, as they were all of a sensitive, hardworking nature. They were the unsung heroes of Hogwarts, but so it had been since the beginning. Helga Hufflepuff was responsible for the unity that allowed the four founders to create the school. She convinced Slytherin to work with Gryffindor, and made them a team for a long time. She endured, even when Ravenclaw took her beloved Godric away from her. She continued steadily to do her job, despite the love she never revealed.

So naturally, if one of them was in pain, they had to help, or the entire balance of the school was off. They also cared deeply for their housemates, as a result of the incredible loyalty they were all capable of. Those of them in the common room got together to try and figure out how to cheer Lily up.

Meanwhile, Lily was crying into her pillow, while Harriet rubbed her back, and Josie and Mel attempted to discern the problem.

"Are you sick?"

"No, it must be the House Cup! She must be feeling like she failed us, or something. But you didn't, dear!"

"Of, course! Well, we don't really care, anyway! What's the House Cup? Some stupid trophy with no real value, that's only seen once a year."

"Your happiness is far more important to all of us than some dumb hunk of metal!"

Lily's yell cut Mel's effusivity off, "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!"

The three friends looked at each other. "Should have known what, dear?" Mel asked gently.

"That STUPID boy! Who dies he think he is?"

"Oooooooooooh!" a knowing look was shared by Josie and Harriet.

"What?" Mel was a sweetheart but a little bit slower than the others.

"James Potter must have-" Josie began to explain.

"NO! Don't say his name! I don't want to hear it!" Lily moaned.

"Ok, umm... glasses-boy must have teased her about the House Cup. The egotistical git!"

Lily sat up, "Josie!"

"Well, it's true." Josie had the grace to look ashamed at this un-Hufflepuff-like behavior.

"I agree completely. He is a git!" said Harriet, speaking for the first time. "He is an arrogant bastard." Everyone looked amazed at the quietest member of the group. She defended herself, "If he can't see how much Lily loves him, well; he can just go bathe in bubotuber puss for all I care!"

Lily wiped her eyes, "This is really considerate of you guys, but calling him names doesn't change the facts." She sniffled, "He does not love me." This was said with great effort and reluctance. "He thinks I'm just some stuck-up bitch who cares only for who has the highest scores." The other girls hugged her. "I told him what I had done-" The girls made sympathetic noises. "-and that I wanted to be friends, but he was so mean! He said I had a stick up my ass, and that I was jealous of him, and kept on rubbing in the fact that we were third. I couldn't stand that look on his face anymore! I 't. So I ran away crying... completely lost my cool.

"I have challenged him to see who can win the House Cup next year, but I just don't care who wins anymore. I don't!"

"Oh, Lily." Three voices echoed her thoughts.

"I just wish I had never told him! Maybe he'll figure out that I love him now! You know he'll tease me."


	3. III

Dear James,

Congratulations on being Head Boy. I hope you'll forgive the outburst from last school year. I guess I was a bit sore about us not winning the House Cup. I'm sure you'll be a great Head Boy. Say hi to Remus for me, and tell him my thoughts will be with him on the night of the full moon.

Yours,

Lily Evans

James looked up from his letter. The nerve of this girl! To think that she could try to steal James Potter's victory, then apologize and have everything turn out fine! And he would have to work with her ALL YEAR, since she was Head Girl! Sure she was kind and intelligent, but when she was mad, like she was every time he tried to prank her, she was evil incarnate. How did she know about Remus? _Of course_, said his brain, _Lily knows everything! _James smirked, well, he'd show her this year...

"It will be a year long remembered. It has seen the end of Hufflepuff, and it will soon see the end of Evans! Mwhahahahahaha!" James froze and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked downright evil himself. He slapped himself, grinned goofily at his reflection and ran off to talk to Sirius.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Lily stepped out of her carriage, holding her purse close to her, to shield it from the rain. A letter of great import was inside this satchel. Two, actually. One, containing the announcement that she was Head Girl, the other from James Potter.

Lily-

Yeah, you have a good year too. A very good year! One filled with excitement, romance, fencing, fighting, angst, horror, comedy, deceit, lies, revenge, and true love. Well, that sounds like an advertisement in the muggle papers for some movie. Well, I hope you are up to dealing with the Head Boy Extraordinaire... c'est moi, in case you were wondering. Well, later!

James

She strode into the Great Hall, wondering how much of the above would fit into her seventh year at Hogwarts. Just at that moment, a bucket of chocolate appeared in midair, and inverted itself over Lily's flaming red hair. She looked a bit like some sort of medieval swamp creature, with flashing dark green eyes. The assembled students looked like they wanted to laugh, but most of them cared too much about Lily to hurt her that way. A flock of Hufflepuffs immediately surrounded her with their linen napkins, attempting to clean off the mess.

Lily waved them aside, and the entire hall quieted down to hear what Lily would say. "Gryffindors, that's thirty points for making a mess in the Great Hall, and ten points from Hufflepuff for this: James, you are a bastard!" The Gryffindors groaned, but the Hufflepuffs just took it, as they trusted Lily (Who in their right mind would trust a Marauder?). The professors apparently agreed with Lily's assessment as they simply sat back and allowed Lily to cast a cleaning spell on herself and the Great Hall. However, they got more than they bargained for when the hall and Lily suddenly sparkled from top to bottom.

"I think you overdid it, Miss Perfect!" James Potter's voice broke the awed silence.

"Well, Mr. Potter, you, apparently, are still here, so perhaps I need to make another go?" Lily's eyes glinted dangerously and she started to walk in his direction, shimmering as she moved.

"LILY!" Mel's voice halted Lily. "You can sit by me." Lily looked at Mel and her other friends at the Hufflepuff table, and felt her anger flow out of her. She looked back at James with something like hopelessness, before turning her back on the Gryffindor team captain.

Later, Lily walked down the hallways to reach her house. She traced a smiley face on the pillar in gold, standing aside so everyone behind her could see the pillar turning. "And that is how we get into the common room. Dormitories for the boys are on the left, girls on your right. At no time are girls allowed in the boy's dormitories and vice versa, understood? Well, I think that is all, except that you have entered the house with the greatest responsibility. It is our job to help everyone get along, but the most important thing is to be loyal to your housemates. We will support you as much as we are able, so I hope you will give your all for us. Get a good night's sleep, we're going to have a busy day tomorrow." Lily looked around to see the entire house listening to her speech. She smiled; she bet this never happened in any of the other houses.

Josie rose from the yellow plush couch, "Everyone, one last thing. Another attribute of Hufflepuffs is that we are a united front. So I am going to request that we cease all contact with James Potter, in retribution for his foul behavior to our beloved Lily Evans." A couple of female whines greeted this statement. "I know that he's supposedly cute and all that, but I hope you believe that showing him that our Lily isn't to be trifled with is far more important. Are you with me, Hufflepuff?" Josie could have given some cult leaders a run for their money, as the loud "Aye!"s coming from the Hufflepuff common room could attest. Lily felt a swelling of happiness that she had such friends.

For the next several weeks, the admiration of the Hufflepuff community was shifted abruptly from James Potter of Gryffindor to Amos Diggory of Hufflepuff. Lily talked to James only at Head and Prefect meetings tersely, afraid to let anything else slip. She had never had to take points from her own house before, and she was not eager to repeat the experience. Lily read James' letter every night, trying to be angry at him, but ended up only blaming herself for her studiousness and competitive nature.


	4. IV

James sauntered into the Great Hall to see his normal groupies looking apologetically in his direction clustered around the fool Diggory. Ravenclaws still smiled at James, but they were too busy studying to say much to him. The groupies belonging to Remus, Peter, and Sirius were also interestingly absent. Shrugging indifferently he sat down at his table. A Ravenclaw tapped on his shoulder, midway through a bite of toast.

"Someone at the Hufflepuff table wanted you to have this." The small boy handed him a folded piece of parchment. Before scuttling away.

James said, "Thank you," before turning to his friends and lifting his eyebrows. "I bet this will tell us why the Hufflepuffs are avoiding us like the plague." He opened it.

J-

Just thought you ought to know why you're being ignored by us. We may not be smart or brave like Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, or sneaky like the Slytherins, but we've got our own pride, and we stand by our friends. For Lily's sake we will no longer talk to you or cheer for the Gryffindors in quidditch. I think this is a little harsh, but until you apologize to Lily, we will not give you the slightest bit of help or friendship. Please apologize before the school is hurt!

- Melisande Rabbinow

"Gentlemen, it would appear that I am being boycotted by our slow and steady friends in Hufflepuff." James' friends guffawed into their hands.

The Hufflepuff table just looked impressive.

As the weeks wore on, the other houses began to feel the lack of Hufflepuff very keenly. It seemed that Hufflepuffs were the only ones gaining points, as the teachers could not stop the infighting between the other houses, particularly Slytherin and Gryffindor. Nobody had realized how much influence the Hufflepuffs had with the Slytherins, and now the horrible tricks lashed out at all muggle-borns, including those in Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff pulled into itself, comforting its members, but seeming impassive on the outside. It was as if the school didn't care anymore what happened inside it. Hufflepuff cheered for whoever played James in Quidditch. Hogsmeade trips were canceled when two fights broke out between the Marauders and the Slytherins. Thus was the dislike of everybody turned on these four boys who had been originally responsible for the wrath of the Hufflepuffs.

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"Miss Perfect." James inclined his head slightly at Lily's approach, his voice sarcastic. He was standing on the stairs behind the gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office.

"Mr. Potter, I don't want to argue with you anymore." Lily's face was carefully blank, but her eyes were sad.

"Well, maybe you should just-" But James never got to say that hurtful thing, as the door to Dumbledore's office opened.

"Ah, the Head Boy and Girl. Enter." Dumbledore's voice seemed tired, and his eyes had lost their usual twinkle. James and Lily sat in front of Dumbledore's desk. "I have called you here today because a report of an alarming nature has finally reached me." Lily leaned forward while James nonchalantly placed his chin on his hand. "Apparently Hogwarts has been divided, and the two students who should be setting them an example are in fact encouraging this dissension."

Lily looked ashamed of herself. James started to, but looking at Lily made him smirk.

"Mr. Potter, could you please tell me what's so amusing about your personal affairs ruining the school?"

James looked up sharply, "But it's not my fault, sir. Lily made her house ignore me and boycott Gryffindor, and they're not doing their part, keeping the Slytherins in line."

Lily interjected, "But that was only because you've been so cruel to me, rejecting me every time I try to make peace! And it wasn't my idea, either!" She turned to Dumbledore, "Jo- my friends thought that James might stop picking on me if he knew how much of what I do is in his interest, so she decided to show that Hogwarts wasn't appreciating all that Hufflepuffs do." She swung back on James, "And it is _our job_ to keep everybody, including the Slytherins in line. We keep the peace at Hogwarts, and you cannot cope without us. Without me." The last she said quietly.

James swallowed then scowled. "Well, you aren't doing a very good job right now, are you?"

"Mister Potter, if there is any hope that the school is to be reconciled, it is clear that you two must lead the way. If it is completely the other's fault then nothing will be accomplished." A short silence followed.

Lily sighed, "Professor, it _is_ my fault. I hurt James' pride last year, so he took revenge this year, while he was pretending to be my friend. Hufflepuffs stand by each other, ergo, domino effect. I'm sorry. I'll resign my position of Head Girl, since I obviously cannot carry out my duties without them interfering with my personal life." She took off her Head Girl badge, and set it on the table, eyes bright with unshed tears.

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled at her for a second, then became hard as they turned on James. James started suddenly, then seemed to get the point, "Here." He took off his badge too. He turned to Lily. "It was my fault as well. I should not have reacted the way I did, and you deserve better than that. The school deserves better." He looked at Dumbledore's desk, avoiding the old man's eyes.

Dumbledore clapped his hands, making the downcast students' eyes land on him. He held the badges for a second before sliding them across the table to their owners. "You have earned them _now_. You will make a good team, as long as Hufflepuff can start at work again." He looked at Lily. "What you said is true. Hufflepuff allows the entire school to function; without it, we are just at each other's throats. We need all four houses." Dumbledore's eyes smiled. "Now, I would suggest that you hold a Head meeting, so you can plan the Christmas festivities." At the headmaster's clear dismissal, James and Lily left quietly, much quieter than when they entered.


	5. V

Lily and James walked to the now empty transfiguration classroom, talking about nothing in particular. Lily stopped James, "James. I really am sorry. It was completely wrong to involve the whole school in what was just our problem. I-"

James cut her off, "You apologize way too much. I'm sorry, too. I should not have bragged so much, then blamed you for what you did for us."

"You. I did it for you James." Her voice was very soft.

"Well, that makes me feel like crap." James' self-recriminations ruined the mood.

"I'm sorry, James. Me and my big mouth again!" Lily joined him in self-bashing. James put his hand over her mouth.

"Don't you dare start that "sorry" business again! And you definitely don't have a big mouth. Sirius, now, that is a big mouth, but you, Lily? Not a chance." He took his hand away and gave her a hug.

Lily was closer to heaven than she had ever been before. "Oh, James!" She kissed him on the cheek. They stood silently, looking at each other for a minute or two. Eye contact was made, green to blue. Lily felt as if she were falling forward, prompted to reveal her secret by the magnetism of those eyes, which she had been trying to avoid during the past few weeks. With a start she realized that she was actually falling forward. She quickly lowered her glance, with reluctance.

"James," she cleared her throat, since her voice sounded like one of those breathy old-time movie stars. "James, I'm so sorry, I guess I just ..lost control.. of my temper. I ..needed you.. that is, to make you see how much you hurt me. And I ..want you.. um, to work together so we can maybe have a good year. I'm sorry, James. I really am, I can't tell you how-"

James' cool hand landed softly on her mouth again, and she stopped in surprise and well-concealed delight. "I thought I told you, no more apologies." She could not conceal a tremble from his closeness. He looked hurt, and stepped back, "Do I frighten you? I'm sorry, I'll just-" He turned to walk further to the transfiguration class.

Lily knew she couldn't let him leave, but she was scared. She made a decision and grabbed hold of his sleeve. He jerked to a stop, and actually got pulled off balance, falling at Lily's feet. He looked up to see Lily holding onto the corner of his cloak, eyes squeezed tightly shut, as if she could not bear to look at what she caused. "Lily? You can look, you know. I'm fine."

She sneaked a peek, which he saw. He laughed, and Lily wished the ground would open up for her. Or maybe she could turn into a suit of armor and sing Christmas Carols out of tune.

He clambered up, still laughing at her expression, "Whoa! Lily! You do know that all you had to do was say 'Hey James, wait up!' or 'Shut up, James, you twit!' You need to learn how to verbalize these things. And if I scare you, just give me a good smack and I'll be meek as you please!"

Lily continued to look grief-stricken. "I'm s-s-sorry-" She slapped a hand over her mouth a second before James lifted his hand to do the same, and stepped back, as if awaiting a blow.

James' arm halted in the air, then dropped. He looked at her curiously, a bit hurt. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. In fact, I'll walk you back to your dorm, missy. We can work on the Head stuff tomorrow." He held out his arm for her and she took it with a tentative hand.

They strolled aimlessly, James unconsciously leading her to the Gryffindor Common Room. They were in a kind of blissful haze until they reached it. Sirius Black awaited his best friend in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, and he cackled on seeing who was clinging to James' arm.

"So, James, you rascal! _That's _what that whole tiff was about! It was a ruse to hide the fact that you two are going out! Ha ha tee hee hee!" James tried shut Sirius up, but he was practically shouting, and his voice brought a crowd of people from behind the thin painting.


	6. VI

James pushed the infuriated and embarrassed Lily behind him as the portrait opened. Loud laughter accompanied then down the hall as they ran, Lily's red hair an immediate giveaway of her identity. They dashed down corridors and hallways until they were completely alone on the fourth floor near the stairway. James turned to Lily, looking penitent, "Lily, I am so sorry. It's that prat Sirius' fault! As if we would ever go out!"

Lily stood back, now completely demoralized by the night's events. She looked up at him with a closed-off expression. "As if, indeed. Well, Mr. Potter, thank you for walking me this far, but you may agree that we should not attempt to venture further together. Your reputation probably could not bear the added strain. Good night sir!" She turned from him quickly, to keep herself from slapping him... or kissing him, a traitorous thought asserted itself.

As she bustled away, he stood bewildered. A couple of seconds after she turned the corner, he started running after her. "Lily! LILY! What's the matter? Slow down there, turbo!"

He ran after her almost catching her when she turned and yelled, "TARANTALLEGRA!!" James ducked it, but it hit the girl behind him, Melisande Rabbinow.

She started dancing wildly, so fast that all she could do was pant out, "HELP ME!"

James paused for a second in indecision, then cast the countercurse on Mel. She fell down, her legs unsteady. James ran to her and supported her. "Thank...huff ..huff...you!" She breathed frantically for a couple of seconds, then grabbed his tie. "What...the...hell...are...you...doing...here!?! Run after her!" James looked at her confused. "Lily-duh!" She shook her head at the incredible stupidity of guys. James looked after the red-haired fury, and shrugged.

"What's the point? She hates me. She never curses anybody. She must think I'm scum."

"Well, aren't you?" James looked at her, affronted. "Well, you're letting the love of your life think that you don't care about her! Isn't that how scum behaves? I wouldn't know. I'm just a chick into divination, who's best friends with the girl who has loved you all her life, and has given up everything for you. But if that's not the way scum acts, perhaps I need more life experience." She looked a bit confused herself, and spoke with a matter-of-factness that implied that she was truly commenting on the properties of scum.

James, on the other hand, had been floored. "She loves me? But-" He turned to Mel, but she had stood up and was walking unsteadily away. James tried to get up and follow her, but he lacked conviction, and she was around the corner and gone by the time he reached his feet.

He stood in the hallway, completely gobsmacked. Lily Evans, the beautiful prefect who was the smartest witch in their year, loved him? Why? He was not one of the smartest people around, and he definitely did not pride himself on his good looks, however much he enjoyed the attention it won him. Of course, Lily would never love him for looks alone, if she loved him at all, his traitorous brain interjected. It could be his sense of humor, but she had been on the receiving end of his pranks far too often to be a closet fan of them. Or had she?

Her eyes sparkled more than usual when she was battling him. Even just now, in the hallway- "DAMMIT! I am a fool!" He slammed his hand against the stone wall ineffectually. She did love him, or was acting in such a way that she couldn't blame him for that assumption. He could be blamed for being a total git not noticing that, however. He pulled out the Marauder's Map and said, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." The crumpled parchment exploded with lines marking the castle and its grounds. Little dots scurried accross it, concentrating on four different points, the house dormatories. Searching madly for Lily, he pumped a hand in the air when he spotted her. She was pacing in front of the room of requirement.

He took a secret passage that let him out a hall away from her. He heard her sobs as he peeked around the corner. She had slid down a wall, and her face was in her hands. Tears leaked through her fingers as her crying cut the dusky silence. A swift intake of breath was the only outward sign of James Potter's reaction to her. He felt as if someone had poured warm, sweet chocolate in his heart, so that he would never be free of its amazing flavor. At the same time, ice cut through his soul, that he had been the cause of those tears. He could only stare in quiet, unable to move from the revelations shooting through him.


	7. VII

Lily's tears dried up, and she felt herself drifting. She was so tired. She began to dream, an old dream, in which she and James were torn apart by a land-shaking quake, severing their connection forever. And only then did he call across the chasm and say he had always loved her. Her familiar ache of loss was halted when, suddenly, she was in a new dream, and James stood in front of her, an unfamiliar look in his eyes. She had thought she knew his every nuance, but this one escaped her. It reminded her a bit of his flying face, when he played quidditch. He bent over her, and traced the sticky spots on her cheeks, from the saline of her tears. She leaned into his touch, fresh drops making her eyesight blurry from the cruelty of her subconscious. His touch sent shivers through her.

"Are these tears for me, Lily Evans?" His voice was not taunting. He sounded gentle.

Lily nodded, unable to speak and nuzzled his hand with her cheek. If she couldn't have James Potter, then a dream him would do. Knowing James' record, the dream James would probably be better.

"For shame, Lily Evans." The compassion in his eyes was so foreign that she was mesmerized. "I would not have you crying for me."

Lily was suddenly angry. "Y-y-you..." She collected herself. "You don't care whether I cry or not. You enjoy making me cry."

"Lies, all lies." His fingertips drifted to the slope of her neck, gently tickling her there.

"No..." She was breathless, and her eyelids drifted, shutting out his frightening stare.

"Truth. For I never knew till I saw you cry what it is to feel your own heart break. Does that sound like the words of a man who delights in your pain? My heart has lied to me all these years."

Lily's eyes opened slowly, "W-w-w-what are you saying?"

"Do you love me, Lily Evans?"

She looked at him wordlessly. How could she deny it, when he looked like that? And it was only a dream, what was the harm?

"Lily, I cannot apologize for my past actions in any way, except to always be sure that you are as loved and respected by the rest of the world as I love you right now. To some that might seem like an impossible feat, but I find it is manageable, since my affections, if such a small word can account for the tempest tearing to pieces right now, are growing exponentially, and my happiness grows with every passing second you look at me like that."

Her heart soared. But, this was a dream! It was so cruel. She couldn't escape the spell of his eyes, and allowed him to lean forward and kiss her.

It was cruel indeed when she awoke to find James Potter staring at her from the end of the hallway.


	8. VIII

He was... shaking.

"James, what..."

"I'm so sorry, Lily! So sorry. I didn't know. Fool that I am, I didn't see. You've loved me all this time, and all I could do was prank and tease you. And hurt you, Merlin, believe me, had I known, I never would have-"

"Would have done what?!" She got to her feet, and wiped her eyes clean. Fiery fury and cold dead disappointment gave her energy to sneer at the face she had just dreamt of kissing. "Really, James Potter, I think I was doing a great service to the rest of the school. Why, without me to remind you of your apparent inability with the ladies, your head would have grown to quite a size! Had you known that I ... was favorably disposed to you, you would have pitied me as you are doing now, or you would have chalked me down as another of your sycophants, stupid and insipid. But, no! Never in a million years would James Potter ever like someone like me, a mudblood Hufflepuff! Until you learned that I loved you, right? Then you decided that I was "easy", correct?" She brushed off his stumbling refusals. "I'll have you know that I get along quite all right without you. In fact, I'm quite sure I no longer have any feelings for you!"

James sadly smiled, and Lily cringed at the pity in his expressive eyes. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop a moment ago, but I couldn't seem to make myself move. You looked so-" He gulped. "I heard you call out my name in your sleep."

Lily blushed and inwardly shuddered. "That proves nothing. It merely means it will take longer to expunge you from my mind, but it will be done."

"Why?" he whispered.

Her eyes glared. "Why what? Why was I stupid enough to lov- like you or why you must be forgotten? I'll answer both. I believe I was channeling an idiot when I fell for you, so that must be exorcized. Perhaps it was a cruel prank of your own that you have come to gloat about again. You must be forgotten because while a part of me loves you without reason or rhyme, another, larger part of me reminds me of your penchant for leading girls on, of your incredible conceit, and your insufferable manners. And that I hate you." She turned to storm away.

Insult seemed to be working the charm, making James snap out of his state. "Lily! Don't go! Please." She stopped, but refused to turn around. "Now, you've had your say, but I never got mine! I never even considered loving you before now. I automatically placed you in the enemy category, because you were such an intriguing adversary. I have to admit, hearing that you loved me was a shock. You're so much smarter than me, and you have more friends, and you seem much more adult. I can't imagine what you see in a bigheaded prankster like me. I.... well, Lily, ... I don't think I'm worthy of you. If that had been as far as my thoughts had run, I'd have continued to prank you, and never brought any of this up. It's just that when I realized that you had been hurt I was ready to kill someone. And the next big realization was that I'd have to kill me in order to hurt the person who had broken your heart. For me, you realize, that's a great deal more brainpower than I normally utilize when thinking about girls." He paused for laughter, but none came from the still Lily. "What's sad is, I was ready to do it, too. I watched you dreaming, and you seemed so much happier wherever you were, and then you said my name. "james," you said, and you looked so happy, I felt like I could never kill anyone who made you that happy. So, I resolved to tell you how I felt."

Lily's shoulders convulsed with her hasty breath as she tried to come to terms with James' rough speech. He reached for her shoulders, and pulled himself in front of her. She refused to look at him.

"Lily, I am so sorry, love. I cannot say it enough. I can't believe that I have done this to you. Sorry is too sma-" Her hand came over his mouth lightning fast.

They both froze, looking at each other with startled eyes.


	9. IX

Unnoticed, a crowd of students began bustling down the hall. Seeing the two, or perhaps feeling the tension in the air, they all stopped, their loud chattering hushed as those in front whispered to the ones in the back what was happening.

Lily heard the thundering of feet, but thought it was her heart. She and James were staring eye to eye, and the whispering sounds around her could have been the blood rushing through her ears. She couldn't spare a thought for these sensations, as James demanded all of her attention. She had so easily slipped into that easy remonstrance from their earlier conversation, the first time she and James had been civil in over a year. Already she had driven a wedge between them, all because of her hopeless, unreciprocated love. She couldn't bear to hear him tell her that he had no feelings for her.

"If you tell me, "Lily's voice was sharp in the charged hush of the corridor, "that you do not love me, I refuse to be responsible for the consequences. Just let me keep pretending, please," she winced as she sounded like a tortured child. "If you dash my hopes now, I don't see how I'll survive the year. The month, even." She heard a gasp at this, but James' eyes had widened in panic, and she didn't like them like that. Her own were steadily dripping salty tears. "I could have gone on just fine without you knowing. You've pushed me to a new ultimatum. I never want you to talk to me again, James Potter."

James tried to open his mouth to speak, but her hand stayed firmly there, as her sad eyes sent him a message of hopeless defiance. He had to tell her! He had to! It would be the greatest irony of his life if he found her only to lose her when he tried to charm her. A bitter irony. Well, if he could not tell her how he felt, perhaps he could show her. He tried to take a step forward, but she stepped back, maintaining the pressure of her hand. Well, if that was how it had to be, he would play that way. He kissed her palm, staring into her face. She inhaled quickly, looking frightened, then mesmerized, as his hands came up to hold hers. She was thoroughly off balance at this point, unsure whether he was teasing her or sincere. He used her hand to pull her close, running his own fingers over her lips, an expression of reverential incredulity on his face. Lily attempted to steal her hand back, but he placed it on his chest, so she could feel his rapid heartbeat.

A small part of Lily was screaming that she should run back to her dorm, that James Potter was once again playing her, but she had been lost to the moment James had kissed her hand. She was rooted to the spot, lost to everything but him. When she felt his heart beating, Lily buried her face in his chest, listening to the bu-bump speed up as she smelled his after shave.

They distantly heard a voice start to say something, only to be cut off by a loud hissing sound and a thump, but they ignored it, so lost in their discovery.

His hand tentatively made its way to her red hair, and she sighed in contentment. James was quickly becoming enamored of the effect he had on her, and was amazed that it had never occurred to him that loving her would be infinitely better than fighting her. He began to imagine what his life would be like, if he and Lily were allies, instead of adversaries. What if they began dating? To be able to experience this every day? To hold her anytime he wanted? Yes, he would do that in a second. He squeezed her with the arm that was now encircling he waist, though he didn't remember when he had done that, it felt so natural. She looked up at him, her tears still falling, and he kissed a tear about to trail down her cheekbones. She blushed and looked away, lifting a hand to wipe the tears away.

Lily felt like she could burst with happiness; he had kissed her again. He didn't hate her... unless this was all a joke. She decided that she had always allowed him to play tricks before, so why not play along. She was embarrassed that she was crying, and tried to clear her face, but he stopped her. Lily made swift eye contact, and found him much closer than he had been when she looked down. He brushed away another tear with his fingertips before kissing her again, right where a new droplet had escaped from the corner of her eye. She knew she must have been looking at him like he was mad, but he kissed two more tears away, and she thought she heard her heart sigh when he pulled away. Her lip had begun to tremble from the sweetness of his gentle kisses, and the pain of loving him so much.

Her proximity, which had originally rendered him motionless, now galvanized him to action. Lips brushing her face, he took advantage of it to smell her, and look closely at the, somewhat tangled, shining hair that fell around her face. He thought it was enough until he saw her lips trembling. He stopped what he was doing to gaze, transfixed, at Lily's mouth. He tried to justify what he was about to do by saying that she was still sad, and he needed to comfort her, but he wanted the comfort from her lips, just as much as he wanted her to take from his. He lunged forward, startling her so that she lost her balance, catching her lips with his.


End file.
